Spaces.

It's amazing how much a simple, material item, can mean so, so much. My parents recently removed a couch from my room that I had always known was only a temporary establishment. But when it actually came to them removing the item I felt another piece of me, somehow taken by that event. I keep thinking, I always knew this would happen, and, we need the money so selling this will profit everyone. But my thoughts keep turning back to the loss.

Loss. Not matter material, like the couch that I just lost, or friendships or the physical aspect of moving from one place to another as so many TCK's experience -hurts. We all grow and handle the situation in our own way but loss, in whatever light you put it in, is loss.

The space in my room is a painful reminder of the ever present space in my heart. I've been so far removed from the place I've grown up calling home, that having this taken away, hurts more than I think it should. The space will take a lot of getting used to, and seeing that space as more than the symbolic representation of the space in my heart... I'm not sure how that's going to work. I saw the couch as more than just physical comfort. It gave my room meaning beyond a place to crash. It provided safety. Safety to sit and read, or laugh with my friends. It had a lot of memories. But I guess that's the lesson -don't hold onto the material. Nothing lasts forever. Take hold of the moment right? I'll have to find something else to fill the gap, both physical and symbolic. Moving on -it's never easy.

I'm not sure which hurts more -seeing something removed from my life, or seeing the space left behind.