Back in May.

I've kept meaning to write. But every time I had something I wanted to share, either I didn't feel it was worth my reader's time, or it hurt too much to let surface enough to write about.

So let's back track a little bit.

January 2012, brought up the whole issue of family travel and how truly difficult it can be when a parent goes back to the homeland.

February 2012, saw a change in pace and I walked through the various definitions and portrayals of "love".

August 2013, I tried to express the inner thoughts of transition and what I was going through at the time.

Now? Here we are. May 2014. And not much has changed.

My family has all travelled back to the islands, leaving me here. I'm still struggling with love. And well, since my apartment lease is going to be up soon, hello to another upcoming transition.

All this, no-progress, to write about, makes me wonder, "Should I really write about it?" I've been debating with myself on this one, to write or not to write and I've decided, to write. Why? Because there's too much silence and that's a huge problem.

As a church-raised MK, I felt the pressure to be perfect, to be Bible-man and know all the answers, to be educationally ahead of everyone else and well, you MK's may know what I'm talking about here. So when it came to talking, to breaking the silence, I felt I couldn't. I didn't feel I had that freedom.

I wasn't the best in school, I didn't know the Bible as well as some of the other MK's around me did, I was short, I wore glasses, I was shy (so that made me socially awkward) and I was always scared to break the silence. I felt that my needs and my feelings, shouldn't be voiced because in the grand scheme of things, there were bigger issues to be solved. Therefore, why should I voice myself?

I'm supposed to be making progress. And I'm not. I'm not like one of my fellow MK's who's about to graduate with her bachelor's and who just got accepted into the master program she's been wanting to get into. I'm not even going to school right now. So why should I be talking?

This kind of mentality, the sense that I need to be quiet because my parent's work takes precedence, is such a common feeling amongst MK's and TCK's and it needs to be addressed. But how? And who is the right person for this kind of job?

Who minister's to the ministers? Are we even considered as ones in need when we come back stateside?